(as we are playing with My Little Ponies and Shopkins)
six-year-old daughter: Are ponies your second favorite thing, Mom?
Me: Um...sure. What's my first favorite thing?
six-year-old daughter: The Walking Dead?
ten-year-old son: There's so much that's wrong with that.

Six-year-old girl: (throws her backpack at Mom)
Mom:  WHY did you do that?
Six-year-old girl:  You may not know this, but I'm a little crazy.  (giggle)

Ten-year-old boy (while reading One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish for an assignment):  How did he get so far off topic?  I feel like the moral here is "Stay off drugs, kids..."

Six-year-old girl: A word of advice: don't swallow a horse. Take it from someone who KNOWS.

Ten-year-old boy, while working on a python program shouts out: It Works! and makes a slightly evil sounding laugh. His mom responds with a similar laugh.
Dad: You guys are doing it wrong: (evil overlord laugh)
Mom: Or the chick version: (high-pitched witch cackle)
Ten-year-old boy: Or the chipmunk version! (chitter chitter)

(trying to quiz my nine-year-old on state capitals)
Mom:  What's the capital of Ohio?
nine-year-old boy:  Uh...
six-year-old daughter (from the other side of the room):  I know this!  It's O!

six-year-old daughter:  Are most cats evil in the night?