five-year-old daughter:  I'll be there in ten shakes of a bunny's tail!  But only if it's a really sleepy bunny.

five-year-old daughter:  When you and Daddy were kids, were you twins?
Mama:  No, honey, Daddy and I didn't even meet each other until we were in college.
five-year-old daughter:  In college, or in jail?

(clarification:  We met in COLLEGE.  NOT JAIL.)

(while out of town, we go to a grocery store near our hotel.  We wind up walking down an aisle full of wine.)

nine-year-old son: (taking me by the arm and dragging me) Let's go, there's nothing here you want, we'll get you over to the coffee instead....