(while playing Smash Bros)
eight-year-old son:  LOOK AT THIS!  I have my arm stuck inside a donkey's head!
Dad:  No, that's Donkey KONG.  He's a monkey.
eight-year-old son:  Whatever...

five-year-old daughter (watching the cat in the kitchen):  DADDY!  Kitty was about to get hurt by this porcupineapple!

(My daughter has asked me if she can try some of the cheese I'm putting in the soup for dinner, but she won't take it from me because...)

five-year-old daughter:  you be like a tree and hold it, I'll be like a giraffe and eat it!