(we were having lunch with a group of friends when this exchange went down.)

Other child's mother (quoting a movie), to her son:  You're killin' me, Smalls!
five-year-old daughter (to me):  Mom, Smalls is killing her!

five-year-old daughter:  MAMA!  Where is my tattoo?
mama:  Your what now?
five-year-old daughter:  My tattoo!  I want to dance with my fluffy skirt!
Mama:  OH, you wanted your TUTU...

four-year-old daughter:  ...and a duck is NOTHING like a potato!

(no, there isn't any context.  Just a random comment.)

(deep in discussion about life, the universe, and everything)
Four-year-old daughter:  So the sun shines somewhere else when it goes away from here?
Mama: Yes.  Our planet moves around the sun so everyone gets a chance to see it.
Four-year-old daughter:  That's so exciting.
Mama:  What is?
Four-year-old daughter: That the sun eventually shines, even in the really dark places.

(Daughter has just knocked over a water bottle, which she quickly caught.)
Four-year-old daughter:  It's okay!  I was a total ninja!

four-year-old daughter (talking to her doll):  Okay, Dora, that was more like a game of seek.  Because that time you weren't good enough to hide from me.

(while watching Frozen for the 4,124,767th time)
Anna (in the movie, singing "For the First Time In Forever"):  Don't know if I'm elated or gassy, but I'm somewhere in that zone...
four-year-old daughter:  Did she just say, "I hope I don't fart on the dancefloor"?

(well, I suppose in a manner of speaking...)

(I am preparing some fruit for everyone for a snack.)

4-year-old daughter:  I see you have strawberries in a bowl.  I also enjoy strawberries....

Four-year-old daughter wanted to lead the prayer before dinner tonight...

Four-year-old daughter:  Thank you, Lord, for the yummy sausages we have, and...what's this stuff over here?

four-year-old daughter (to her eight-year-old brother): You're being like a cat today!
Mom:  How is your brother being like a cat?
four-year-old daughter:  Because he keeps wandering from the living room to the dining room back to the living room to the kitchen to the living room...
(Fortunately, we all had a good laugh over that.)

four-year-old daughter:  MOM!  Could you PLEASE stop with the lawn mower?
Mama:  Sorry, honey, I can't.  I've got to get this done.
four-year-old daughter:  You have to go on, or your career will be ruined?

Eight-year-old son (watching the rabbits in our yard):  How do you tell the boy bunnies and the girl bunnies apart?
Mom:  From here, we can't.  You'd have to get really close to tell.
Eight-year-old son:  So if we got close, how would we tell?
Mom:...uh...pick them up and check them for parts, I guess.
Eight-year-old son:  What parts?
Mom:  Honey, you're smart enough to know the difference between boys and girls.  What parts do you think?
Eight-year-old son:...Oh, like long hair!

(yes.  Exactly like long hair.)

four-year-old daughter:  Your tummy has a healthy appetite.

Four-year-old daughter (making up a song about Grumpy Cat): Oh, I'm a grumpy cat, and I'm grumpy about everything except cheese, now I have one hundred pieces, what will I do with them all....

4-year-old daughter (hurrying toward the bathroom) I HAVE TO RUN AS FAST AS MY FARTS CAN CARRY ME!

4-year-old daughter:  AAAAH!  Mommy, please come kill the thing!!
Mom:  Sweetheart, it isn't a bug, it's just a fuzzy thing.  See?
4-year-old daughter:  But it was a fuzzy thing with LEGS!

four-year-old daughter (looking at a display of what I think might have been Fifty Shades books):  Man, some books are nothing more than a wad of paper.

(talking in her sleep)
four-year-old daughter:  AND THE CROWD GOES WIIIILD!!!!!!

(what the...?)

Four-year-old daughter (pretending to be a puppy):  Ark!  Barf!  I mean Arf!  Bark!

(My four-year-old daughter has wandered away from her lunch.  To play with her, I put her stuffed lion next to her plate.)

Mama:  Your lion's going to eat your sandwich!
Four-year-old daughter: No, he won't want it.  I pulled it apart and ate all the ham.

(Daddy is trying to wake up four-year-old daughter so she can get ready for the day.  She is having none of it.)

Mom:  Mornings are hard, Daddy!
Four-year-old daughter opens her eyes just long enough to say:  That's why bats are nocturnal.

(My daughter has a set of Sofia the First puzzles.  We're putting them together when she puts Princess Amber's face on upside down.)

Four-year-old daughter:  It doesn't matter if I put this piece in upside down.
Mama: Aw, but now Princess Amber looks all silly!
Four-year-old daughter:  No, now she's a princess zombie looking for more tiaras.

(The weather had been relatively nice until one morning, when it was rainy and cold and threatening to turn to snow.)

Seven-year-old son:  Man, Mother Nature's kids are ruining all her hard work.

four-year-old daughter:  Mama, did you hear my funny burp?
Mama:  Honey, burps aren't funny.
four-year-old daughter:  Well, SOME of them are...

Four-year-old daughter:  I'd like playing fetch outside with my dog IF I HAD ONE.

(talking about actual marbles)
seven-year-old son:  MOM!  My sister keeps saying I'm going to lose my marbles, but I'm not even playing with them!